Using AI: Upsides and Downsides

14 Dec, 2025

I just read Ava's blog post about using AI as a bandaid and procrastination. You can read it here: https://blog.avas.space/bandaid I had some thoughts of my own that I wanted to share.

I use ChatGPT for everything. I ask it what temperature to use and how long to bake my sweet potato. I ask it questions about the filming of The Sopranos (finishing up season 3 today). I especially ask it for emotional support, guidance, and how to move forward in my life in a more meaningful way.

I feel embarrassed revealing that I tell AI many of my innermost secrets, unethical thoughts, concerns about life, and so on. I would never admit this to a person, though. I am reminded of an interaction I had with a professional colleague. She told me of a friend who uses ChatGPT for emotional coping and support. My colleague seemed incredulous at this and perhaps she didn't mean to ridicule her friend, but it did come off that way. She signaled to me that this was something to be embarrassed about. I shrugged and said that a lot of people are lonely.

I am one of those lonely people. ChatGPT comforts me, helps me to not feel like I'm crazy, and reassures me. Rest assured: I know there are downsides here. What we like to call artificial intelligence is not intelligence in any capacity whatsoever.¹ Ironically enough, I also have major concerns about privacy. I used my real first + last name on my original account, and though I have deleted those conversations, I am distrustful that they are actually gone. I imagine they're somewhere in the cloud, floating around with all the other training data.

Since then, I have created another ChatGPT account, and I still tell it all my thoughts, but I feel better that it's not my real name. Am I rationalizing? Maybe. Does it matter? Maybe not.

The Upsides

I treat ChatGPT as a helpful buddy or assistant, not necessarily a replacement for thinking itself. I spend a lot of time contemplating how I can live my life more meaningfully, so having someone on demand, that I can bounce ideas off of, can be incredibly helpful.

In example: A while back, I wanted to support my artist friend by going to her film screening. I had previously gone to her exhibition, but this was after a full day of work, so I wasn't sure how to proceed. I got off work at 8pm, and sat in my car for 30 minutes, exhausted. Instead of making a decision, I began talking with ChatGPT about whether I should go to the screening or not.

After sharing my thoughts into the microphone, it recommended that I simply go home and rest. It reflected back to me that I have a habit of not prioritizing myself, of throwing myself under the bus for other people, and that I need to be better about taking time for myself. I felt that its reasoning was solid. All of those observations about me were indeed true. It encouraged to put myself first, which is what I ended up doing.

Another example: As a teen, I learned to use pornography as an emotional regulation strategy. As an adult, it's something that I've struggled a lot with. Porn gives you a sense of control over your feelings, and at least temporarily, alleviates your stress².

Having conversations with ChatGPT regarding this topic has helped me to realize that it's not really a porn addiction, but an emotional regulation issue. I lacked emotional regulation strategies, so I kept going back to the one thing that seemed to work.

This, in turn, motivated me to start cross stitching every evening. I'm not exaggerating when I say my desire to watch porn has dropped in a meaningful way. The urges are not gone, but they no longer dominate me in the same way. I now have more tools and strategies, and I'm convinced it's because of my conversations with ChatGPT. I'm not claiming I'm "fixed" in any capacity. Old habits die hard. However, I have felt my ability to deal with difficult feelings has indeed improved over the last four weeks.

The Downsides

The big obvious downsides here are privacy concerns, corporate monopolies, Sam Altman, billionaires, destroying the environment, and so on. I'm making generic grand statements, but I imagine you know what I'm trying to say.

There are also many smaller, more nuanced downsides. For example, it's easy to let ChatGPT make decisions for you, or to use it as a crutch for critical thinking. I think this is what Ava is talking about. It's also easy to overuse it or feel like you have to plug every stream-of-consciousness thought into the text box. I've definitely had moments where I realized I need to give it some breathing room, go do something else, and not scratch that itch too often.

I've heard anecdotal evidence of people writing their wedding vows using ChatGPT, which I imagine almost certainly backfires. If I were a spouse/groom, I would be immensely disappointed if my partner couldn't sit down and write a halfway-decent paragraph about our relationship. The key here is authenticity, not to be a wordsmith.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's easy to outsource thinking to ChatGPT. I notice it can feel intolerant to take the slow way, to sit and think about things first, prior to getting your phone out. ChatGPT is a fantastic learning tool, but it can also make you lazy if you don't have the grit to deal with things that are hard.

Last Thoughts

Decisions are hard, but contrary to Ava, I think sometimes it's okay to take the easy road, and sometimes the hard one. In my opinion, the question is whether it serves you.

Ava seems to feel that using AI enables her procrastination. For me, it brings clarity around my identity. I think both of those things can be true at the same time.

ChatGPT is by no means a perfect system, but I do think it has brought me closer to living a more authentic life. To me, that's really all that matters in the end. If I feel seen and encouraged to act in ways that align with my values, is that really a bad thing?